Oblivion by Evette

It’s a constant challenge with Connor, pushing, pulling, and twisting around. They boy's a mass of movement, a whirling demanding ball of resentment, power, and need. But afterward there's a moment of sweetness. This frail little thing with soft hair and false innocence in his eyes gives and gives to Riley. The problem is Riley has nothing left to give back to him. But he loves it anyway, the flesh, the fucking, the guilt afterward.

Connor feels so small beneath him; he lies there faking weakness, letting Riley push into him. It’s a masterful, little manipulation. He loves running his hands through the boy's hair, pulling on it as he comes. Connor's fingers dig deep into Riley's skin. He fears he'll draw blood. They finish more softly than they started rolling over onto the hard motel room sheets.

They found each other in small dust town; Riley running from the jungle and death, and Connor running from… something. Connor doesn't tell him what he is or was and where he came from. There are flashes in Connor's eyes when Riley talks about his own family. Father, Mother, Home – all things that seem foreign to Connor inspire a burning reaction. Riley doesn't want to think about why; he has visions of X-Men experiment scenarios with babies and chemicals. He'd like to think that Connor is another failed experiment just like him. But he'll never know. Which is fine with Riley, he's not interested in past and has-beens and all the things that should have been fixed but never were. Riley had intended to keep running, to leave behind Sam's mangled body, leave behind a hellmouth town that he's still trying to escape. He just wanted to run into oblivion. And maybe that's what this is, oblivion, getting lost in something so much that you'll never find your way out. He likes it like that; he can see Connor as soft white light he can walk into, not a habit occupying his time while he takes a vacation from reality.

They eat Ho-Ho's and watch Reading Rainbow in the morning; the sunlight washes in the room's one small grimy window and illuminates the trail of brown crumbs along Connor's chest. His skin is a beautiful and soft, covered in light scars concealing untold stories. Riley's scars are deeper; ones artfully crafted over and over again, serving as blaring pale reminders. At night they eat tacos or hamburgers from one of the greasy local diners. Riley might have a beer; he sometimes shares it with Connor, who may never look old enough to do.

Then they hunt. They wander the streets looking for whatever they can; Connor sniffs like an animal, crouching on the ground trying to find blood. This used to creep Riley out. It still kind of does. Connor likes to remind him that Riley's only human, and taunts him with the idea of death. Their first meeting consisted of Connor staking a vampire that had almost drained Riley dry. Riley doesn't think about things like how Connor's still keeping him alive. At the end of the night Connor's always wired; he always wants to go just a little longer, a little harder, try and find one more thing to fight. He pushes Riley and they go home and that's all Riley thinks he has to give him, weak human flesh.

Tonight they staked two vampires, which is amazing really. They go weeks without seeing anything demonic or scarier than a local drunk who'd lost his way. These vampires were weak though, easy kills that Riley barely broke a sweat with. There isn't a hellmouth here that draws demons in, it’s just lonely town on the cusp of nowhere.

He wants to know why Connor's here, to find out everything about this pretty creature beneath him. In the sweaty post-release haze they lay there on dirty blankets with the air condition rattling above them, blowing warm air into the room. Riley tangles his fingers in Connor's hair, slowly moving them down his neck.

"Who are you?" he asks smiling, and Connor turns to look at him. If this were a cheesy movie shown at 3 AM Connor would reply,*"who do you want me to be?" Instead the boy just smiles.

"I'm Connor," is all he says, as if that name should come with a story and a theme song.

"Ok Cher, I meant like what the hell are you?" Riley props himself up on his elbow, pushing the pillow farther under Connor's head. Connor just smiles at him as he curls up next to Riley.

"Well who are you?" Connor asks.

"You know everything you need to know about me" he says, and it's true. He's given as much of himself to Connor as he can. There's something wrong and dangerous about that, turning yourself over to someone you know nothing about. Because that's what the danger is, giving without knowing, sinking deeper without caring. If there was a pattern to Riley's life, this would be it.